If you have ever read The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren, you know that the very first sentence in chapter one is “It’s not about you.” For most people these days, that is a turn-your-world-upside-down kind of phrase. We live in a culture where everything is about the individual and what is best for “me.” It affects family life, group dynamics, and how we view every situation we find ourselves in. It is the downfall of many marriages. It is the demise of friendships. What it all comes down to can be summed up in one word.


It’s interesting when you know something like this, try hard to live in an unselfish way, and then get bombarded with the idea all over again.

Many of you know that this year I am coaching the Jr. Comets Cheerleaders. This group of a few fourth grade girls, but mostly fifth, sixth and seventh grade girls has been great fun for me so far this season. We are learning cheers, learning about one another, and learning what it means to be part of a group. Each Thursday before our Saturday games, I am planning to have a short pow-wow with the girls to talk about the game and important information for them to know, as well as some kind of teaching about what it means to be a team. Last week, I was planning to talk about one thing, but when the time came, what came out of my mouth was all about this very subject, a hard one for pre-teen girls to understand, but a necessary one to learn. And then Sunday morning, Pastor Greg shared some thoughts learned from the FMY bike trip and guess what? More of the same. (You can listen to his sermon here.)

Now, I know it has been on my mind because of the girls and wanting them to understand how important it is to put others first, particularly when you are part of a team, but when I start hearing the same thing from multiple sources at different times, I also have to take notice and start to wonder if I need to hear it, as well.

So I have been examining my motives. Thinking about why I do the things I do. And so far, while I haven’t found anything glaring, I have noticed some selfish tendencies that I have. So I am going to keep watch. And I’m going to try to shift my way of thinking. And I am going to continue to try to teach my kids, and my cheerleaders, to be selfless rather than selfish. And hopefully I will learn more along the way, too.

Are you feeling selfish or selfless today?